Thing gets broke
Kaylee said it best in Firefly. “Sometimes a thing gets broke can’t be fixed.”
That’s where I am right now with my eldest son. Tuesday I get to take him down to see how broke he is. The people at the clinic will do testing and questions and evaluations to find out why he does what he does. Everyone around me says there is a hope it’s something that can be fixed through treatment or medication or therapy. But the problem is that it’s only a hope. And I don’t have any left.
Years ago he was given a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome. A condition that falls under the Autism umbrella. It was hard but having grown up with a slightly MR brother and a non-diagnosed Asppy father I felt I could handle it. After all everyone said that with therapy and TSS and BSC and what all there was a hope he’d be able to have a real life. There it is again. A hope.
So here we are 8 years later and nothing has changed. Except he’s bigger, starting to hit puberty and angrier. The behaviors and non compliance are still there. He refuses to do what he needs to and focuses only on himself. No cause and effect relationships even though we’ve worked on it for years. So lately the term Attachment disorder has been tossed around. In short. Can’t be fixed. There goes hope.
I always felt I could be a good father. I could over come the set backs in my life because I persist. I don’t stop trying even though I know most of the time I will fail. I fight with ADD, lack of education and poor self confidence every day and most days manage to move on to the next day. I do this because even though I know I might fail, and in some cases expect it, if I keep trying it will happen. If it’s broke I can fix it or at least keep it together long enough.
But not now.
Maybe not ever.
Government Daycare
I was talking with my father in law the other day during our weekly pinochle game about politics. Yes, I know everyone is talking about politics now a day, but this is a little different. My father in law was a staunch conservative republican almost all his life. Now in his later years he’s still a rabid conservative but he’s change to a conservative libertarian.
When I first move here and my wife and I “hooked up”, I registered to vote as a libertarian, mainly to make points with him. Politics has never been a real interest of mine. I’ve voted democrat because they seemed less fanatical at the time. However, as I learned more about the party and its philosophy I started to buy the party line. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it and if I’m not hurting anyone other then maybe myself don’t tell me how to live my own freakin’ life.
Back to the conversation, he and I were talking about the stupid knee-jerk reaction of the political parties today. This childish insanity of us and them and never, never NEVER give the other side a listen, a thought or do anything but reject everything they do out of hand. Yes I mean Dems as well as Reps.
Health care, war, social security, diplomacy, immigration, education… the list is endless and the subject is irrelevant. They have an idea we reject and ridicule it. Does it matter if it’s important? NO! Does it matter if it makes sense? NO! They suggested it; therefore it’s evil and must be destroyed. Holy Backroom Dealings, Batman! Washington has become a daycare center. Only these spoiled children hold our country in their hands.
I’ve watched new stories about people disrupting meeting and gatherings where our elected officials are trying to explain what the hell they’ve been doing. The very same people who, not 2 years ago, decried anyone who dared interrupt them as un-American. Catch 22 anyone? I’ve watched the not-news like Stewart and Colbert and SNL who seem to be the only ones with the brass to look at this and say WTF???
So maybe we do need a third party after all. Come 2012 I’m voting the straight Babysitter Party.
I was talking with my father in law the other day during our weekly pinochle game about politics. Yes, I know everyone is talking about politics now a day, but this is a little different. My father in law was a staunch conservative republican almost all his life. Now in his later years he’s still a rabid conservative but he’s change to a conservative libertarian.
When I first move here and my wife and I “hooked up”, I registered to vote as a libertarian, mainly to make points with him. Politics has never been a real interest of mine. I’ve voted democrat because they seemed less fanatical at the time. However, as I learned more about the party and its philosophy I started to buy the party line. Of course it had my own spin on it.
Back to the conversation, he and I were talking about the stupid knee-jerk reaction of the political parties today. This childish insanity of us and them and never, never NEVER give the other side a listen, a thought or do anything but reject everything they do out of hand. Yes I mean Dems as well as Reps.
Health care, war, social security, diplomacy, immigration, education… the list is endless and the subject is irrelevant. They have an idea we reject and ridicule it. Does it matter if it’s important? NO! Does it matter if it makes sense? NO! They suggested it; therefore it’s evil and must be destroyed. Man Washington has become a daycare center. Only these spoiled children hold our country in their hands.
I’ve watched new stories about people disrupting meeting and gatherings where our elected officials are trying to explain what the hell they’ve been doing. The very same people who, not 2 years ago, decried anyone who dared interrupt them as un-American. Catch 22 anyone? I’ve watched the not-news like Stewart and Colbert and SNL who seem to be the only ones with the brass to look at this and say WTF???
So maybe we do need a third party after all. Come 2012 I’m voting the straight Babysitter Party.
I have a blog! Now I can.. ooo what’s that
I recently read an article on the Moon Landers in Time. One of the questions that the early astronauts had to answer struck me as interesting. List 20 answers to this question. “Who am I?” Well seems like a good icebreaker so here goes.
1. I am a parent.
2. I am an autistic parent.
3. I am clueless about parenting.
4. I am a sufferer of ADD
5. I am a teacher.
6. I am a learner.
7. I am a decider.
8. I am a forgetter.
9. I am a geek.
10. I am an addict.
11. I am anti-religion
12. I am religious.
13. I am a questioner.
14. I am an answerer.
15. I am a tank and a DPS.
16. I am a caretaker.
17. I am a man.
18. I am a cynic and a believer.
19. I am a Hero and an ogre
20. I am. I endure.
So there are my answers. Not a lot of sense but then that not really my department. I think I’ll try to expand on these at a later date.
